This is kind of lame.

So I'm pretty sure its been almost a year since I've written in my blog. Thats not good. I'm feeling lame right now. Here I am another year older and non the wiser. Ok, thats not exactly true. Abba Father has been teaching me lessons since the day I gave my life to him and I have been learning from him ever since. (But it would help sometimes if I listened)
My thoughts go today on how difficult it is to love my God in the world. Before I gave my heart to Jesus, I was so unbelievably lost. High school for me was one huge party. It wasn't until the end of my senior year that the Lord really took ahold of me and wouldn't let me go. For almost two years now the Lord has flipped my world upside down and I couldn't be happier. My youth group has become my 2nd family, my mom has become my best friend (apart from Jesus), and being able to love my enemies has become so much easier with the help of God. Even though I wouldn't give any of that up, it is still terribly hard to live for God in this generation. Giving my life to Christ was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I knew that when I allowed Jesus into my heart I would have to let go of drinking, sex, and drugs. But when I could feel the Holy Spirit comforting me and just loving me, I was a goner. The Lord's love is too stronge! No worldly thing could ever get me to go back to the way I used to be.
Before I was saved, letting go of the world and loving Jesus meant giving up sex, drugs, alcohol but now loving Jesus means so much more. Now its more about internal things like hate, regret, guilt, and shame. Sometimes its way easier to just regret something for the rest of your life than to own up, face it, and repent. When I fell in love with God I had so much regret because of the things I'd done, I was ashamed, and I felt dirty. But Father told and taught me that no matter how bad I had messed up or no matter how many times I has spit in his face, He loved me.
Romans 8:38-39 says "For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any othercreature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.